I don't understand why everyone is always telling me "Oh your so young enjoy being single."Or "You are too young to understand what love is."Go fuck yourselves.If you say shit like that don't even fucking talk to me.Seriously unless you want my size 10 in-a-half airwalks up your ass.I know what love is.I know what it feels like,and don't fucking tell me different.Jeez..Yeah I am young but love can hit anyone at anytime.Yes I have loved before.Yes I have lost them.Or Yes I'm probably never going to see him ever again.And I'm not talking about family love,I'm talking about the person who could be your other part,or spend your entire life with(Yes there is a difference).My very first love started in 3rd grade and still last even though I haven't seen him in about a year.My second..He was wonderful...We really did love each other...But my stupidity got him killed.I can't forgive myself for that...But I can move on and keep his memory close to my heart and continue to live as happy as I can be no matter how hard life gets.I promised him that.I don't want you pity or your comforting words.They make me sick!They don't help they make it worse actually.I'm also on the brink of shooting the next person that says "Family love and the love you have for your special someone is the same."No it fucking is not!Not to me so don't even think about fucking saying so.I believe different thing than most people and no one can change that.Only I decide what I want to believe.And I will believe what I want.You can't say shit against it because if you do I don't care.What are you to me?Nothing.Yes I do try to be nice but there is a very thin line in me that separates nice and mean,and trust me no one wants to see me mean.It's not pretty,I say hurtful cold things,I say so much crap and I can't stop myself and I don't give a damn what the damage is..Until later after I've made the stupid decision and when its too late to say I am sorry.If you read this please please just...Try and understand where I'm coming from.